


Expected the Unexpected

by stardustginger



Series: Loki Imagines [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Protective Loki, Sakaar, Sweet Loki
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-09
Updated: 2018-08-09
Packaged: 2019-06-24 07:52:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15626160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardustginger/pseuds/stardustginger
Summary: After getting trapped on Sakaar with Loki, Y/N must learn how to survive on such a foreign planet however she can. Even if that means pretending to be his handmaid for protection.Prompts: from reasons not to kiss her (@generalmercer):9. she is so good. she is so good, and you can not ruin one more good thing.andfrom reasons to kiss her:1. she loves you, and her eyes are closed, and didn't your mother ever tell you not to leave a good thing waiting





	Expected the Unexpected

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Canon-complicit violence, fake submission, talk of throwing up, brief description of a panic attack, nightmares, cliche fluffy bed sharing, when Loki gets defensive he can also get a bit mean  
> 

Y/N hadn’t been truly surprised per say when Thor had asked her to go to Norway with him to retrieve his father. It was far from the first time he had asked for her help in navigating Earth, as he’s still trying to figure out humans and she’s a trusted friend with semi-good social skills. But, he’d never asked her to go this far from home before. He generally stuck to the greater New York area and had never once asked Y/N to leave the country, much less go to a whole other continent. And definitely not while Loki was around.  
In fact, she had never even met the younger of the Odinson brothers before this, only ever heard stories of him and seen him on the news after the attack on New York. And, as much as she hates to admit it, he scares her. She was in the city when it had all happened and still have nightmares of it, but Thor had also told her about Thanos and what had happened in between Loki’s supposed death and the attack, so she honestly didn’t know what to think.  
Despite all of this however, the girl had agreed to help, because honestly, what else was she supposed to do when a very distraught god of thunder showed up at her door? Which leads Y/N to where she is now, stood before Thor, slightly clutching at his crimson cape as his hammer flies towards the head of his newly discovered sister.  
Now, this isn’t exactly the first time that Thor had gotten her in to some sort of trouble. She was actually kind of coming to expect it, so she knew to look away, as to avoid any gruesome sites, and she had memorized the THWACK! sound the impact makes. Y/N can’t say that it doesn’t haunt her in her sleep some nights.  
But this time, the sound never comes. She looks up just in time to see Mjolnir explode into a colossal display of lightning. And then Loki is shouting something she can’t really process quite yet, and Thor is saying something as well and then he races forward and away from her and Loki is grabbing a hold of her and then something strange happens and…. and she doesn’t remember much after that, not even in the foggy sort of way that she remembers the moments just prior.

 

Y/N fades in and out of consciousness for a while, occasionally catching bits and pieces of what those around her are saying. Like something about ‘a Midgardian’, and then something about fighting something, someone, but she can’t seem to put any of what she is hearing together before she fades out once again. She doesn’t know how long she’s been like this, or even how long she’s been asleep generally before she wakes fully, but when she finally does the haziness sticks with her.  
Everything around her seems foggy and while nothing seems too out of the ordinary, all of it does seems a little bit off. But not enough to actually pin point anything too different from what she is used to. She just knows that the room she is in is not her own, nor does it seem to be any sort of hotel.  
The bedroom around her is a combination of a stupidly bright purple color and a very gaudy gold. Had she still been a little girl, she might have considered it the peak of luxury and not just completely hideous. She doesn’t have long to focus on it though, because she soon realizes she is not alone in this magenta nightmare. A young woman is standing near what she assumes is the exit. At least, she thinks it’s a woman. She’s nothing like anyone Y/N has ever seen before, her skin a pale-yellow color and her hair a fiery orange.  
It seems that the strange girl has yet to realize that Y/N is awake, as she is staring intently at the floor still. Y/N isn’t sure what she should be doing or whether or not she should be worried for her safety. The orange haired woman doesn’t seem to be much of a threat, but she is also clearly not human. And who knows what lays outside of this bedroom, so the H/C haired girl stays quiet. Though, this silence doesn’t last long.  
As Y/N is still staring at the sunflower colored woman in front of her, the door swings open and a strange, but still human looking man strolls into the bedroom with a wide, mildly creepy grin on his face. He’s just about to say something to the woman at the door when he notices that Y/N is awake. His smile manages to grow even larger, creepier, but she is relieved to hear him speaking English when he opens his mouth. Not that Y/N’s listening very well. She’s still in a bit of shock at her situation and just how much has happened in the past few hours since Thor had knocked on her door. At least she thinks, hopes that its only been a few hours. She’s pulled out of her thoughts when she hears a familiar name, “…and of course Loki has informed me of your duty to him, so we will make sure that you’re brought back to him.”  
Y/N isn’t even close to sure what he means by that, but another woman walks into the room and whispers something to the older man before she can ask.  
“Well, I had planned on being able to bring you to Loki myself,” the Grandmaster, she thinks he said his name was, says with a weird, almost pleasured look on his face, “But sadly, I have matters to attend to so, um Blossom, is it? Yes, well then Blossom will have to take you instead.”  
He throws a quick wink her way before exiting the room with the new woman right behind him. Y/N’s head doesn’t stop spinning once as she changes into the clean tunic that Blossom had given to her, nor does she calm down whatsoever as she is lead down a bunch of winding, maze like hallways. She tries hard to get her bearings as they walk, tries to remember what turns they take and what rooms and windows she passes, but it’s all just so disorienting and she’s having such a rough time wrapping her mind around any of it. The one thing she is sure of though, she’s definitely not on Earth anymore. 

 

It doesn’t seem to take the two women all that long to get to… well wherever they were going, but to Y/N it felt like an eternity. Her pulse hadn’t stopped racing and her eyes were darting all over, trying to catch any and all of the details that she could while still avoiding the eyes of those around her. She had only noticed a few truly human looking people around her, but she also knew not to put too much weight on looks. Both Thor and Loki look just as human as she does.  
She was so concentrated on everything around her that she didn’t even notice when Blossom stopped in front of her until she is just about to crash into her. They are stopped in front of a large metallic door and the yellow-skinned girl gives it three quick knocks before coming to stand next to Y/N, instead of in front of her, for the first time since they had met.  
Y/N’s still not sure what the Grandmaster had meant when he had mentioned her ‘duty to Loki’, as she had only just met him and she sure as hell didn’t owe him anything. He had only said like five words to her in the entirety of the time that they had spent together and almost all of those had been thinly veiled insults. He was the brother of a friend of hers and nothing more.  
Loki looks a bit disheveled when he opens the door, dark hair messy from tugging at it and hands wringing at each other, but he quickly composes himself when he sees the two of you standing in front of him. Had she not been so uneasy and confused, she probably would have been amazed at how easily he could hide his true feelings.  
“Ah, you’re finally awake,” he states before turning towards Blossom with a charming smile, “Thank you for bringing her back to me. I would hate to of lost my favorite handmaid.”  
Y/N is left dumbfounded by what he has just said and the word ‘handmaid’ continues to echo in her head as she watches Blossom nod politely at Loki before taking her leave. The tall man motions her into the room and then raises one eyebrow at her when she doesn’t comply. Instead of following his unspoken order she continues to stand right where she is, refusing to play along with whatever game he seems to be playing.  
“Being stubborn with just make this harder on both of us, Y/N. Come inside and I will answer all of the questions clearly racing through your head.” This is by far the most he had ever said to her and in her surprise, she allows him to lead her into the large living space.  
While the room she had been in had clearing only been a small bedroom, this is a true loft. There is a kitchen to the right of the door they entered into and a door to the left that she assumed led into the bedroom. Towards the back wall there is a living area with a jade green couch and a grey armchair that match the rest of the grand apartment. She almost wants to laugh at the fact that he was somehow still managing to stick to this aesthetic, even here. Wherever here is.  
They don’t make it very far into the living space before she manages to finally find her voice, “Handmaid?”  
He chuckles at her astonishment before answering her oh-so articulate question, “A human would be seen as a luxury on this planet. It was important that I tied you to myself, so that you weren’t sold off like cattle or thrown into the Grandmaster’s fighting ring.” He says it like it’s so simple. Like any and all of what is happening is simple and she has to take a very deep breath to stop herself from losing it on him.  
The thing is, nothing about any of this is simple to Y/N. She isn’t like him or Thor. She isn’t used to being on strange planets and spending time around different species. She isn’t used to being in danger, like she seems to be now. But, she doesn’t want to show weakness around the powerful man standing in front of her, so she chooses to push past this.  
“And telling everyone that I’m your servant was the only way to do that!”  
“Well, they wouldn’t exactly believe that someone from such a lesser species could be my companion. Even less so a confidant.”  
It’s Y/N’s turn to raise an eyebrow at this. She doesn’t say another word to him, instead choosing to turn around with every intention of walking straight back out the door she had just come through. And she would have, had Loki’s large hand not grabbed her wrist to stop her and pull her back to face him.  
“Where exactly are you trying to go?” He asks the question this time.  
“I’d much rather take my chances out there then spend one more minute with you. Especially if you think that I am going to pretend to be a slave to you.” She keeps her chin held high and stares him in the eye the entire time she says this, refusing to show any signs of fear.  
She pulls herself from his grip and heads for the door once again. He doesn’t stop her this time.

 

It feels like she’s spent hours wandering up and down the halls of whatever very large building she had woke up in, before she finally finds a true exit. The street she walks out onto is overcrowded and hectic. All different species roam the road. She recognizes a few of them from stories that Thor had told her, but for the most part Y/N is completely unaware of where they all come from. She knows that most are probably far stronger than she is though, and she knows not to start anything with anyone.  
The area she’s in seems to be a market of some sorts. There are rows and rows of vendors selling strange artifacts, and clothes, and foods that she doesn’t recognize. The food is what draws her eyes and despite none of it looking like anything that she is used to on Earth, her stomach still growls quite loudly. It’s only then that she realizes how little she has thought this through. She has no money and no way to get any. She has no where to stay and sleep. And she has no idea how exactly to solve any of these problems, so she decides to focus on one thing at a time.  
After considering her options, Y/N decides that she should start by finding food. Not that her stomach is giving her much of a choice. She starts to head down one of the less packed rows of booths. Her eyes race from vendor to vendor, reading the scrap metal signs that hang above many of them. Most have multiple different languages on them, including English, thankfully, but she still doesn’t understand the pricing very well.  
In all of her confusion, Y/N stops paying attention to all that is around her and runs hard into a very, very large blue man with an elongated head and deeps scars running across most of his face and visible body. He’s intimidating to say the least. Y/N’s eyes widen as he squares his shoulders back and sneers at her. When she goes to take a large step backwards she once again crashes into someone, but this time she is gently pushed to the side.  
She looks up to catch dark green eyes and is relieved to see Loki’s handsome face. Y/N almost can’t believe how relieved she is to see him.  
“I’m very sorry from this one here. Sadly, my maid isn’t the most graceful. I can assure you that I will have her taken care of for you.” Loki speaks with his normal calm voice and the scary looking man seems to respond well to him, as he nods slightly before turning and heading away from them.  
Y/N once again finds herself being led through the large building she had been in earlier and if she wasn’t so shaken up she might even laugh at how quickly Loki finds his way back to his apartment. It takes him less than a third of time she had taken to find her way out with this much more direct route. When they make their way back inside he leads her to sit on the green couch, before resting himself in the grey armchair.  
“Are you hurt?” His voice isn’t necessarily comforting, but it definitely isn’t unkind either.  
“I don’t think so.” Y/N can’t find a more articulate answer than that in her nervous state.  
He leans forward with his elbows on his knees, eyes focused entirely on her before speaking again, “Do you understand now why you need to stay close to me?”  
She can’t find the words to reply and instead just nods. He stays quiet for a while, just allowing her to collect her thoughts. She fiddles with the bottom hem of the green tunic she wears. The color makes more sense to her now.  
A question pushes its way to the front of her mind, onto the tip of her tongue, “Why are you helping me?”  
Loki takes a deep breath before answering and for a moment Y/N fears that she has angered him when she sees his fists clench, but he answers with the same calm voice that he’s been using, “It is what my brother would want, had he made it. Isn’t it?”

 

The duo work out a system over the next few days. When they are out and about Y/N walks behind him, keeps her head down, and just generally tries to stay out of sight. The less attention she draws to herself the better. Meanwhile, Loki just continues to be his charming self. Saying that the Grandmaster ‘liked’ him would be the understatement of the century.  
In fact, everything seemed to be going fine for about the first four or so days. Y/N was even learning to live with that fact that she was stuck here, at least until Loki could find a way out, but then the Grandmaster called everyone to the public meeting hall.  
It’s no secret that Y/N is a pretty soft person. She’s the kind of girl who cries whenever an animal dies in a movie and who always stops to coo at any baby she sees while walking down the street. So, when she finds out why the Grandmaster had called everyone together, she tries to get out of there quick. She can barely watch any sort of violence on tv without wanting to throw up, but a public execution! How exactly is she supposed handle that?  
Her and Loki had almost made it out one of the side doors when they are stopped by one the guards and told this is ‘mandatory viewing’. The death is quick, and Y/N is thankful for this, but she can still barely keep herself together on their way back to their 9th floor apartment. Loki keeps a hand on the small of her back while they walk, guiding her home gently.  
Y/N tries to head straight for the soft armchair once they make their way inside, but ends up running towards the bathroom instead. She can’t seem to get the image of that man’s death out of her head and she can barely make it to the bathroom before she starts to heave. She’s hyperventilating at the same time as she empties the contents of her stomach into this weird space toilet. She barely even registers the hand holding her hair back or the one comfortingly running up and down her spine.  
The same hands slowly and carefully help her sit up and lean against the wall once she stops throwing up. Y/N takes the time to get her breathing slightly more regular before she opens her eyes. Loki is kneeling next to her legs when she does. His emerald eyes are soft and full of concern. They almost take her breath away all over again.  
Loki seems to be about to say something but changes his mind and instead hands her a glass of water that she hadn’t noticed in his hand a moment before. Once he is sure that she has drunk enough he takes the glass from her and she watches as it disappears with a flash of green. He then lifts his hand towards her but hesitates when he nears touching her face. When she doesn’t move away, he softly brushes away a few left-over tears.  
Y/N is confused by his sudden kindness towards her. In the time they had spent on Sakaar so far together he had been distant and while he hadn’t been truly unkind to her, he had spent their time together mostly ignoring her. She didn’t expect anything more of him, of course. It’s not like they’re friends or anything. They’re just two people trying to survive, so she didn’t blame him for his behavior. But because of this, she has no idea how to respond to his sudden want to take care of her in this fragile state.  
She does appreciate it though and finds herself leaning further into his tender touch. The way he stares into her eyes makes her feel safe and entirely too vulnerable all at once. And yet, for some reason, she doesn’t feel like looking away.

 

Loki is sat out on the suede couch with a worn book in hand now. He had helped Y/N clean up after she had finally fully calmed down and he had even convinced her to let him take the couch for once. Now, he finds himself unable to focus on the story in front of him and instead finds that his eyes continue to stray towards the open bedroom door without his permission. He doesn’t understand it. Caring isn’t part of who he is. At least not anymore. And yet, he just couldn’t help himself. Not when it came to Y/N at least. He knew as soon as they landed on Sakaar that she was gonna be too soft for this place. He knew that she wasn’t gonna be able to survive on her own here. And as much as he doesn’t even want to admit it to himself, he knows that he isn’t just helping her because of her friendship with his brother. He sees something in her that makes him want to care for her. He had long thought that he was past caring for anyone for quite sometime now. Especially since his mother had died. But, Y/N proves otherwise.  
Loki is pulled from his thoughts when he hears a small cry from the bedroom. He almost wants to fight himself when he instinctually moves from the couch towards the open door. He shouldn’t care so much about this girl. About this human. But he can’t seem to help himself. So, despite not being entirely too thrilled about it, he finds himself heading briskly towards the side of the bed where Y/N lays clenching at the sheets underneath her as she whimpers and cries out for help.  
He lays his hand against her shoulder and whispers a quiet, “Y/N.”  
He sees the girl shift slightly in her restless sleep and he can’t help but soften a little at the way her nose crinkles at his touch. When she doesn’t wake up he says her name again, slightly louder this time and rubs at her shoulder gently.  
Y/N jerks forward when she wakes, as if she is being physically pulled from her nightmare. Loki rips his hand away from her out of fear that he might have hurt her, but when he notices how erratic her breathing has become once again, he finds that he cannot stay away from her. So, he whispers her name once more before taking a seat on the bed beside her and placing his large hand on the back of her neck, which he begins to run his thumb over in a comforting manner.  
They sit in silence together for a moment and he finds himself thinking about how her skin is just as soft as he had learned she herself is. Just as he begins to think that she has calmed slightly, he feels and hears a sob wreck through her body. Loki is surprised when the young girl turns herself towards him before throwing herself into his arms. He doesn’t quite know how to respond to the position they are now in. She has her arms thrown around his broad shoulders and her face burrowed into his neck. And she is now mostly on top of him, sitting in his lap and resting most of her weight on him, not that this is in any way too much for the aesir to handle. He just isn’t used to anyone being this vulnerable with him.  
He is unable to stay too wrapped up in his thoughts for long though, as sobs continue to find their way up and though her and Loki cannot stop his heart for breaking for the girl in his arms. She had not asked for any of this and yet she finds herself on this wasteland of a planet so entirely different from and more brutal then her own. She is not made for a place such as this, and while he had already known this before, he did not recognize the true extent of it until this moment.  
And it makes him feel helpless. He knows that he can not fully shield her from the harsh realities of a planet such as this. He knows that he cannot truly take away the anguish she is feeling. But, he can help and while comfort has not part of his nature for a long while at this point, he is willing to try. For her.  
He wraps his arms tightly around her. One arm wrapped around her waist anchoring her to him and the other pressed upwards against her spine, his hand making its way into her hair at the nape of her neck. He whispers soothing words into her ear and coos at her, rocking her and him back and forth until he can feel her breath even out against his throat. At this he eases himself and her backwards until their heads hit the cushiony pillows. He starts to draw away from her, but is stopped by the two hands holding tightly onto his lounge clothes and the quiet whine that comes from the now sleeping girl resting against him. So, he stays with her, and continues to hold her close to himself.  
He tries to allow sleep to take him as well, but instead finds himself thinking about Y/N, who has now moved to lay slightly atop of his chest. He thinks about how kind she is, and how caring and genuine she is. He thinks about how truly good she is. And then he thinks about himself. About all of the people he has hurt, the pain he has caused. And he can’t help but think that she is so much better than he is.  
Loki can only stop these dark thoughts by looking down at her. He runs a hand through her H/C hair and while he knows he is not worthy of her, for just one moment he allows himself to just be. He forces himself to stay in this moment with her, to focus on taking care of her and not the hate filled thoughts that run through his head. He doesn’t drift off to sleep until the early hours of the morning, but when he does, he does so with only her on his mind.

 

When Y/N wakes up the next morning she is alone again. Her brain is almost as foggy as it was when she had landed on this god-forsaken planet and her head is pounding from all of the panic of the day before. She is able to think back on the night before through the clouds in her head none-the-less. She remembers the way Loki had sat with her as she had brushed her teeth and how had he left her only to go get a pair of the pajamas they had bought for her at one of markets. And how he had led her to the only bed despite her protests. She remembers the nightmares and him waking her up, the way he had cradled her in his arms as she had fallen back to sleep. These memories now seem more like fantasies. Why would an arrogant god such as himself take the time to care so well for her?  
She is hesitant to get out of bed, to walk out of this room and see him. Y/N finds her hands clamming up out of embarrassment. She doesn’t like when anyone sees her in the state she was in last night. Definitely not someone she still hardly knows.  
It takes a few minutes, but she is finally able to force herself to walk out towards the kitchen, where he sits at the counter with a book and a mug of tea, or at least Sakaar’s equivalent of tea. She hesitates before breaking the silence, mumbling a shy, “Good morning.”  
She tries not to be offended when he only replies with a short nod, not even looking up at her from his book. This isn’t any different than how it would had been any other morning since they had gotten here, but last night definitely wasn’t any other night. She keeps her eyes off of him as she walks past and pulls out a container of a sweet custardy breakfast dish, frowning slightly when she takes her first bite. Y/N didn’t know that she could miss fresh produce as much as she does now.  
She stares down at the counter as she eats and wonders if Loki is feeling the same amount of awkward tension in the room as she does. Her head hasn’t cleared up much and she thinks that she would probably be willing to give up her right arm for a Tylenol right about now, but still she finds that thoughts of last night keep forcing their way to the front of her brain. Y/n’s never been good at staying quiet for too long and today is no different. It only takes a few more minutes before she speaks up.  
“Are you just going to ignore last night, Loki? Because I don’t think I can do that.” It all comes out in one long breath, while her face and neck turn a bright pink.  
She watches him closely as he finishes the sentence he was reading before placing his book flat on the table and turning his head slightly to face her, one eyebrow raised. When he doesn’t reply Y/N starts talking again, just as rushed as before, “Because you normally just ignore me most of the time and that… well that definitely wasn’t what you were doing last night, and it just seemed really unlike you and it was really sweet and I really appreciate it. Like, I really do! I’m just a bit confused?”  
Loki doesn’t like how close he is to being at a lack of words at this. He can hear the nerves in her voice and he finds everything about her in this moment so ridiculously sweet and cute and if he wasn’t completely set on ignoring his feelings for her, he might have pulled her back into his lap again and kissed her. But, he had promised himself when he woke up this morning that he wouldn’t let anything happen between them. She was too good, and he had hurt too many people to be willing to take the chance that she could be next. Because no matter what they were like on this planet, they’re eventually going to get off of it and he’s going to take her back to earth and she’s going to go back to being the kind, regular human girl that he had first met and even if something happened here, it wouldn’t be able to last. Because he’s him and she’s her. So, he will just have to do what he does best. Push her away.  
“I don’t know what you think happened last night Y/N, but I wasn’t being sweet. I was only making sure that you didn’t accidently suffocate. It wouldn’t be wise of you to mistake that for kindness. I am not a kind man.”  
Y/N becomes unable to respond to him and his harsh words. Instead she just stands there, mouth hanging open as she watches him pick back up his book and go straight back to reading as if nothing at all had happened. After a moment of gulping for air, she is able to pick her jaw up off of the ground and walk away, in an even more dazed state than she was already in. 

 

The next few days are tense. Y/N tries to follow Loki’s lead in acting like nothing had happened at all, but she doesn’t seem to be very good at it. She now finds herself stuttering on the few occasions that they did actually talk, and she starts to feel even more isolated on this planet than she already had, which she didn’t know was possible. Thankfully, there has yet to be another execution, just the random banquet or party here and there. She continues to keep her head down and does her best to ignore the way everyone else around them seems to stare at her. But one girl can only take so much, and it is all starting to wear on her.  
And Loki can see this, of course. And it’s wrecking him, of course. But he doesn’t know what to do. He wants to help, to hold and comfort her the way he had that night, but he still fears that doing this will only hurt her more in the long run. So instead, he watches from a distance. He watches to make sure that she is eating enough, and at least kind of taking care of herself, and that no one is making her uncomfortable when they are out of there apartment. He gives off stern looks to those who stare at her for too long and does his best to keep her away from the Grandmaster, who he can tell makes her uneasy whether she wants to say so or not.  
In his free time, he continues to try to find a way to get them both off of this planet. He had quickly learned the codes for many of the Grandmaster’s systems, including codes that give Loki access to all of his ships. Now he spends his dinners casually asking around about a way to get out of this trash heap using one of said ships, but no one seems to have any idea of how to do so, or even if it’s been done before. On the couple of occasions in which he has started to become drained of hope, he finds himself looking towards Y/N. He reminds himself of the point of all of this and it helps, enough at least.  
But, none of this does much to help Y/N with her loneliness and it’s becoming too much for her. It wasn’t until today though that it had become this bad. Loki had started making her sleep in the bed with him instead of on the couch-something about needing her rest once he finds a way out or something-and that was were she had woken up this morning, all alone in their apartment once again, after a night full of dreams about home, and her friends, and her family, and…a few about Loki as well. She tries to pass this off as just a result of spending most of her time with him, but she had never been good at lying, not even to herself.  
She spends her morning trying to find any way to get her mind off of all of the emotions and frantic thoughts swirling through her head. But, nothing seems to help. She is unable to focus on any of the books that she picks up, as her thoughts continue to overshadow the stories in front of her. She cannot find the energy to truly try to clean or try to cook something even semi-appealing with all of the artificial ingredients this planet had to offer. And she can’t leave the apartment without Loki’s protection, so she is stuck alone with her thoughts for far longer than she can handle.  
Her brain becomes a black hole. It sucks up all of the good thoughts that she tries to focus on and only leaves her with the negativity and a pounding head and heart. She doesn’t even notice when Loki walks in on her, hands wrapped tightly in her hair and chest heaving as she mumbles to herself.  
She doesn’t notice him stop in the doorway at the sight of her. She doesn’t notice his distressed and grief-stricken expression, or the way his shoulders droop. She doesn’t notice him until he had made he was into the living area, until he stops to rest on his knees in front of her with a hand on her leg. She jumps at this and stares with wide eyes even after he had moved back slightly and raised his hands in front of him, as if she is a frightened animal that could scamper off at the slightest of movement. Y/N can’t even say for sure that he would be wrong about that.  
He slowly reaches his hand up towards and gently wipes away a few tears, just like he had the last time he’d seen her like this, except this time she isn’t quite as thankful. She’s almost angry even. Or, maybe she just wants to be? She can’t stop thinking about how this had gone the last time. But, she can’t seem to push him away. She can’t even find the energy to try. So instead she allows him to slowly pull her into his arms once again, so that she is awkwardly cradled against his chest while he is still on the floor below her. And as angry as she wants to be, she can’t help but feel incredibly safe like this. He makes her feel safe. But, as she calms, this only serves to make her genuinely angry. She hasn’t even stopped shaking fully before she pushes him away.  
“Y/N-“  
She cuts him off, “Just stop, Loki! I don’t want to hear it. I don’t need or want your help! I can stop myself from suffocating without it.” She doesn’t give him the chance to say anything, instead heading straight for the bedroom without another word, leaving him still on the floor by the couch, shocked and sorrowful.

 

Loki hadn’t realized that he was hurting her this badly, honest. He had thought that he was doing what was best for her by pushing her away, but he can see now that that wasn’t the reality. And he can’t help but think that he should have seen it earlier. That he should have helped her earlier. But, now it’s his turn to sit with his head in his hands, distraught. He knows that she needs her space right now, but staying away from her when he knows that she is hurting is so hard. He just wants to help her.  
He waits about half an hour before becoming unable to stay away any longer. She doesn’t answer when he knocks, so he begins to speak to her in a calming voice instead, “Y/N, dearest, please let me in? I believe that it is time for us to speak honestly, me especially, if you will give me the chance.”  
Loki barely hears her reply, as her answer is just a small, mumbled, “Ok.”  
She is still curled under the emerald sheets, refusing to so much as look at him. It breaks his heart to see her this way, so curled in on herself and hidden. From him. She doesn’t say anything to him as he sits down of the edge of the mattress, careful to still give the girl her space.  
“Oh, Love. I am so very sorry for the pain I have caused you over the past few weeks. It has never been my intention, though I see now that that hasn’t made a difference,” He pauses for a moment, trying to give her the opportunity to speak, but she continues to face away from him without so much as a peep, “I believed that keeping you from myself would help you, but I see now why that wouldn’t be true. I am so sorry that I have left you to feel so alone here. I never wanted that.”  
Loki doesn’t know what else to stay, so instead he just sits there, hoping that his presence will help her feel less alone. And while he won’t force her, he does hope that she will talk to him soon. He misses her soft voice and would happily listen to her seethe at him again, rather than continue to ignore him. It takes a few moments, but she does fulfil his wish eventually, “Why?”  
It’s not much and Loki isn’t quite sure what she is asking him about, exactly, but he still beyond relieved when she chooses to speak to him. He decides to give a more general answer, “As you know, I have hurt a lot of people, especially those closest to me and I did not want you to become one of them. I, well I guess that I allowed myself to become selfish and to protect myself instead of truly protecting you,” He stops again, as she finally turns towards him, staring at him with now puffy eyes. He takes a deep breath before speaking again, “If you would allow me to, Y/N, I would like to make it up to you. I would like to do better.”  
Loki stretches his hand out towards her and she stares at for a moment before reaching out and taking it into her own. A small grin points out from the corners of his mouth as he squeezes her small one with his own, before moving slowly to lay next her and then slowly and gently pulling her to lay on his chest. He makes sure to give her time to push him away, but when she doesn’t he wraps his arms around her tightly.  
Loki is grateful to find that her breathing has steadied itself and that she is no longer shaking violently. He promises himself that he will do better this time. And he does. When Y/N wakes up the next morning he is still there, right where he said he would be before she had fallen asleep in his arms once again.


End file.
